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Many women are in denial when they are with a control freak which is usually always abusive in some way. It is a dark secret that they do not often want to admit. However, most of their family and friends are quite aware of what is going on behind closed doors.
One of the reasons women stay in controlling relationships is that they have a need to feel that the man is in charge. However, this can be very misleading, because often "the man in charge" is also in control of most aspects of her life. She cannot make a move without his permission as though she is a piece of property and cannot fend for herself.
When relationships are hot and heavy in the beginning, it can be easy to "over look" the pitfalls of continuing on with a controller who is most likely always abusive, at least emotionally. However, as the pick sky and glitter wear off and reality bares its ugly head, it quickly becomes obvious that something is not right, even to a casual observer.
He was so overly attentive in the beginning; that in itself can be a red flag. Behind too much attention can be lurking a need to control others; he must have something to control like a snake needs something to bite. Too much of anything in the beginning of a relationship should put you on guard.
All of the signs were there, you just didn't notice in the beginning of the relationship. You were "in love" and sure, you noticed a few "little things" but they couldn't be that big; or were they? It is those "little" things that should have been on the radar.
Some controlling behaviors are:
- They contact you way too much anytime you are away from home
- They get upset if you speak to another male
- They criticize you
Controlling relationships are always a form of abuse whether it is what he says or how he treats you. You have to watch your behavior so that you don't upset him. When he gets upset, it is always your fault. With no exit plan in place, you feel stuck and begin to get depressed, trying to put on the happy face for the outside world.
Recognizing the control freak before you get involved is a very important step in any potential relationship. We don't always know who they are until we get involved with them. Once you begin to notice their behavior makes you very uncomfortable, make a list of everything they do that upsets you. If there are too many things on that piece of paper, it is time to move on before it gets very difficult to do so. End it before you go down with them.
One of the reasons women stay in controlling relationships is that they have a need to feel that the man is in charge. However, this can be very misleading, because often "the man in charge" is also in control of most aspects of her life. She cannot make a move without his permission as though she is a piece of property and cannot fend for herself.
When relationships are hot and heavy in the beginning, it can be easy to "over look" the pitfalls of continuing on with a controller who is most likely always abusive, at least emotionally. However, as the pick sky and glitter wear off and reality bares its ugly head, it quickly becomes obvious that something is not right, even to a casual observer.
He was so overly attentive in the beginning; that in itself can be a red flag. Behind too much attention can be lurking a need to control others; he must have something to control like a snake needs something to bite. Too much of anything in the beginning of a relationship should put you on guard.
All of the signs were there, you just didn't notice in the beginning of the relationship. You were "in love" and sure, you noticed a few "little things" but they couldn't be that big; or were they? It is those "little" things that should have been on the radar.
Some controlling behaviors are:
- They contact you way too much anytime you are away from home
- They get upset if you speak to another male
- They criticize you
Controlling relationships are always a form of abuse whether it is what he says or how he treats you. You have to watch your behavior so that you don't upset him. When he gets upset, it is always your fault. With no exit plan in place, you feel stuck and begin to get depressed, trying to put on the happy face for the outside world.
Recognizing the control freak before you get involved is a very important step in any potential relationship. We don't always know who they are until we get involved with them. Once you begin to notice their behavior makes you very uncomfortable, make a list of everything they do that upsets you. If there are too many things on that piece of paper, it is time to move on before it gets very difficult to do so. End it before you go down with them.
About the Author:
If your relationship is in trouble, you may be with a controller. Talk to an expert advisor from the privacy of your own home. Limited special discounts for first-time callers.
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